It just can’t happen

February 27th, 2007 by Dave Leave a reply »

I’m busy compiling a flashy new CV at the moment.

I’m ashamed to say that I don’t really have one at the moment. Indeed, if someone were to say to me “Send us over a CV and we’ll take a look”, I really wouldn’t have anything to show them. Which is foolish, isn’t it?

Anyway, I’ve been addressing this – slowly. I’m a bit busy at the moment – it’s deadline day tomorrow – and I generally don’t like writing them anyway.

I figured I would like to make it a bit snappy and different. Easier said than done. There’s a very fine line between being ‘different’ and just being a bit of a twat. How to gauge that? It’s impossible. By sending a dazzling CV you could be alienating a potential employer who is more used to dealing with serious CVs. Serious CVs are good. Applying for a job is a serious thing – so why shouldn’t your CV? My original draft of my CV resembled more of a pamphlet than a document representing me as a professional.

On the other hand, though, you need to stand out. Standing out is easy. I could whip my pants down and take a picture of my arse… that would certainly work. I can’t see it getting me a job though. Maybe a criminal record.

I’ll post my final effort on here soon. But please, please, if you happen to be an editor, don’t take my CV as an exact representation of me.

If it looks too stupidly OTT, then ignore it. I’m actually far more boring.

But if it looks very dull, please ignore it too. I’m actually very exciting.

(Another thought: does swearing (i.e. ‘arse’ and ‘twat’ in this entry) make me sound less of a pro too? Momma always used to say that people who swear show a lack of education. Rather like my CV, in fact.)

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